I forgot to mention this yesterday, but I’m basically trying to stick to a 30 Day Writing Challenge that I mention in previous posts (such as here).
Back to today’s writing challenge. Sharing something I struggle with. I struggle with so much, how do I choose one thing to share, without over sharing…
I struggle with rain. I hate it on my skin. Showers are good, but not rain.
I struggle with Depression and General Anxiety Disorder. I had brief therapy for both and I’m on medication. My mind is a black hole, effecting everyone around me. Hence, I am (fucking finally) actively trying to be positive. Its heck of a mountain to climb. Not very successful at the moment. But I took a few first steps. Lets see how it goes.
13 Things To Do After Finishing Academic Work For Summer
What on earth should I do with my newly gained freedom, now that I have finished all my academic work? Here are 13 things I look forward to doing, with a bonus thing I look forward to.
1) Read all the books I want to read
2) Take extra long baths without feeling guilty
3) Take nice walks without feeling guilty
4) Watch stuff on Netflix
5) Spend endless time being creative
6) Reach those language goals I’m aiming for (trying to learn Japanese mainly)
7) Film those videos I want to film
8) Explore some other interesting topics I want to know more about (Astronomy for example)
9) Watch all the movies at home and at the cinema (without feeling guilty)
10) Enjoy the weather by being outside, instead of gazing out of a window whilst frustratingly typing up essays
11) Procrastinating (watching all the youtube videos and random stuff on TV) without feeling guilty
12) Playing Sims 3 & other games all day and all night
13) Just generally taking care of myself, both mentally and physically, and exploring nature, meditation, yoga and zen for self healing / self growth.
SO these are the things I’m basically spending some of my time doing.
14) Bonus Point: Travel
I’m actually off on a family holiday tomorrow, which I am really looking forward to. Apart from the 30 Day Writing Challenge prompts each day, I’ll hopefully sporadically type up some holiday related things!
Fantastic Beasts and Where to find them -Main Titles
SYML -here’s my love
Busted -Coming Home
Busted -Those Days Are Gone
Twenty One Pilots -Stressed Out
Moana -How Far I’ll Go
Westlife -How To Break A Heart
Busted -Meet you there
Harry Styles -Sign of the Times
To be honest, most of these I’m loving now, and have loved ever since I first heard them. Some of them (looking at number 9 and 10 there) I have loved for many years now and still do. Now I feel like going through Steps, S Club 7, Boyzone and Spice Girls.
FUCK I FORGOT THE SPICE GIRLS. I LOVE THEM TOO. THERE ARE TOO MANY SONGS. And yes, I listen to pretty much all of them on an irregular regular basis. For some reason, I have huge difficulties attaching myself to new bands or anything. I guess I love Busted, Westlife and Spice Girls especially because I grew up listening to them. Moana holds a special place in my heart, because the entire movie and the music makes me feel happy. So does Harry Potter. But I doubt anybody is actually surprised that that one is in there.
If you’ve only just tuned in, today is day six of a writing challenge I am taking part in. Day One is here, with the link to the Pinterest Pin.
Day Six: Five Ways to win your heart
Not that anyone would actually want to win my heart, but here you go.
Talk Harry Potter to me, and I will melt. Added extra: Enjoy Harry Potter. Preferably the books.
Love animals, Nature, Travelling and Food.Apart from Cats, which is point number five, I love a lot of animals too. I love nature, and travelling. I also love food. I’m crap at cooking so this only involves actually eating food.
Be really passionate about something and suck me into what your passionate about.This is only a thing I noticed recently that it is a thing.
Talk bullshit with me about movies, books and tv shows (and other things).
Have a cat. Be a cat. Idk. Cats. I love cats. Big, small. Cats. Or puppies.
Out of all the places I want to visit, I can only name five. This seems rather fitting, since I am going on holiday to Malaysia very soon. But hence, I also feel like I cannot list Malaysia.
Japan: I really, really, REALLY want to visit Japan, so much. From what I read and see and everything, I am so fascinated by the culture and everything. I really want to experience everything for myself
Australia: Australia has been a country I wanted to visit since I was a child, purely because of the wildlife and Steve Irwin. He was so passionate about his work, I was determined to visit Australia and see/support the wildlife there.
Canada: For some reason, I really want to visit the forests in Canada, and spend some peaceful time walking and hiking there, and I am not quite sure where this love for Canada comes from to be honest.
America: So, the only reason I want to go there is to visit New York City, San Francisco, Seattle and the Harry Potter World in Florida. Like, thats pretty much it. I don’t know how long it takes to travel from one area to another, and spend time there, but thats all of the time I want to spend there.
Italy: I’m not sure why, but I’ve also been wanting to travel to Italy for a very long time. The history there fascinates me, and I really want to try out all of the food there.
It is difficult to find just the one person who inspires me. What is also difficult, is writing down why a person inspires me. Why do they inspire me, and how? What is it that these people do that is so inspiring me? Very often it is the things I need most in life, that these people give me through the simple things that they do. I lack strength and positivity. I find it difficult to enjoy the little things in my life, the ordinary things. I find it very easy to find faults within me, weaknesses and doubt everything I do, all the time.
There is a very obvious person who inspires me. She inspires me to stay strong, to hold on to the hope that the future may be bright, and that ideas can come out of nowhere. She inspires me to write, and to keep going. Strength to carry on is something I still lack. It is a difficult skill to learn. But by doing whatever she is doing, she helps.
Three of the people who inspire me are three Youtubers who live in Japan. I love their videos and often share their content. They have inspired me to try out youtube myself. They inspire me to enjoy the little things in my life, the ordinary things. Furthermore, they help me to stay positive.
All of those people create content that distract me by working on things they feel passionate about. I guess that alone is inspiring me,
This is the third day of the writing challenge, and the third post I am scheduling ahead of time. I feel very on top of my stuff at the moment, lets see how long that will last.
Day 3: What are your top three pet peeves?
My three top pet peeves, eh? How on earth do I narrow these down??
Lets see… One of my pet peeves are people constantly talking in a cinema when the movie is on, or that one child that can’t sit still. Actually, that one child that can’t sit still or shut up is definitely one of my top three pet peeves.
Another pet peeve is having wet socks in shoes. Even worse, if there is sand, as well. Don’t talk to me and do not even think about touching me because I would literally eat off your head.
My last pet peeve? The last top pet peeve has to be horrible grammar or misspelling simple words. I’m not brilliant at grammar, or spelling, but when I see something that is such a common word but is misspelled, it annoys me. One of the prime examples is there/their/they’re. I was going to be really obnoxious, but I just realised people who struggle with this might actually be dyslexic, learning the language or genuinely have some other reason they’re struggling with this. It is an annoying, but minor mistake.
(Hint Hint, I want to teach English as a foreign language so if anybody does have any language related questions, please don’t hesitate to ask, I’d be more than happy to help)
Day Two: Write Something that someone told you about yourself that you never forget
As I have mentioned in yesterday post, I’m doing the 30 Day Writing Challenge, inspired by a Pinterest pin.
This prompt is actually really recent and definitely not something that I am going to forget.
I have been told by two people that I am manipulative. They experienced me in such a way, so there is no doubt about it. Knowing that I came across that way is truly painful. I never intended to be manipulative or anything. Since these two people have told me this, I have been actively challenging the way I act and behave to other people, and being very mindful of my actions (verbally and otherwise). I genuinely hope this never happens again.
This is linked to some very emotional memories, that are still quite raw for me. Not that there is anything else to add to it really, but it may be a good thing not going into it -especially since the other parties aren’t here to give their side of all of this. I’d think it would be important to have their views directly from them and not paraphrasing them or anything.
I’m scheduling a bunch of posts and I sincerely hope this works!
Inspired by this pin on Pinterest, I thought I’d do the 30 Day writing Challenge. Day One is listing 10 things that make me really happy.
So here I go
The Harry Potter series
Remus Lupin / David Thewlis
Dogs, especially puppies
Going on Holiday
Historic Things, e.g. visiting castles
Going to the beach
Going on a walk in a Forest.
Well, that was easy and quick. I can already tell that day two is going to be really difficult, though. Otherwise, this challenge is going to be super interesting and is going to keep my fingers typing.
I’m also going on holiday, so I’m actually not sure how frequent I will be able to post stuff. At least four days will be super difficult because we’re going to be island hopping.
I have time and energy to pre edit some posts now, so writing them up will hopefully not be the problem.
Getting into the habit of making the most of my time, I take the end of the week to reflect and prepare for the following week.
In the past week, I finished my dissertation and handed it in. After that, I spent far too many days taking care of myself, instead of working on my last essay. This is leaving me with a lot of work for the following week.
Generally, the week has had some ups and downs emotion wise. During my group therapy, I kept disassociating. I haven’t disassociated for a while.
Preparation for the following week
For the following days, I have found quite a bit of reading for my last essay. After group therapy on Wednesday, I have a friend coming to my place, which I am looking forward to. This means I have to tidy up my room as well. Both are good things, even though I am not looking forward to cleaning.
By Thursday evening, I hope to have finished my last essay. Hopefully, I can push myself to leave my room more frequently to enjoy the nice weather and be physically active beyond walking dogs. I miss sitting by the sea. Over the next weekend, I’m going to try to get to the beach and enjoy the sea.
Poem of the day
Love After Love
By Derek Walcott
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
And say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.