Went to the local Farm Shop again today, and I love the display of pumpkins they have there. I’ve never actually tried Pumpkin, apart from Pumpkin Spiced Latte, and I’ve never carved a pumpkin either. But I like taking pictures of them.

I’m not actually doing anything myself today for Halloween, but I had friends over last night and we watched some movies and had some drinks. Tonight I’m just going to drink some more and watch some more movies by myself.

I don’t see anything wrong with doing things by myself, 99% of the time I go to the cinema by myself. I’m not going to go simply because the friends I do have are too far away or not interested.

The Movies I’m going to try and get through tonight are Casper, Descendants and Addams Family Values, perhaps even one Harry Potter Movie.


Featured gif: (x)

Finally Friday

Photo of the day

Harry Potter Studio Tour

Word/Phrase of the day: Kaffee und Kuchen

The words translate to Coffe and Cake And actually refers to a German tradition. It’s just a time people take, usually in the afternoon around 3pm or so, where one sits down with family and/or friends and eat some cakes and sweet stuff in general. Out of personal experience, there would either be coffe and cake, or just a snack or like an inbetween meal/snack between meals.

Quote of the day

“Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.”
– Hermione Granger

Video of the day

Question of the day: What do you want to do when you finish Uni?

I honestly hate this question because the only thing I can ever answer with is find a job, earn money and/or travel. Thats all I am aiming for, nothing too precise or anything. Keeping it broad, just so I can’t actually disappoint anybody next June when nothing much actually happens.

Just another Thursday

Photos of the day

Harry Potter in London

Word of the day: Beatific

This means having a very blissful appearance, derives from Latin and is an English word, since the 17th century.

Poetry of the day

“He’d been let down so often
His brow was on the floor
But then they found
A small hole in the ground
And let him down some more”
― David Thewlis

Video of the day

Question of the day: Why do you like Photography? What got you into it n how?

I initially wanted to take photos to “remember” events, faces, activities and stuff. My stepdad tried to get me into photography, but it wasn’t until somebody mentioned on holiday, that I seem to have “an eye” for it. For years I played around with my stepdads camera until I got my own and it was my way of being creative and a good hobby. Something I can lose myself in.

Feature Gif: (x)

Mid-Week Wednesday

Most things will probably somewhat be Harry Potter related most of the time, until/when I get bored of doing so or have other things to write/share.

Photos of the day

Black Woman
Autumn Leaves | Kaunas

Poem of the day:

A laugh, a smile
A tear, a cry
A kiss goodby
-by Ciaran Jefferson

Word of the day: die Traurigkeit
Another German noun, translates to the sadness. the verb is traurig, meaning sad. “Ich bin” traurig translates to “I am sad”.

Videos of the day

Question of today: Whats your favourite desert?

My great auntie’s cheescake. It’s the best n it tastes like home. Every time she makes it it’s just perfect and if I couldnt eat any other desert other than that cheesecake for the rest of my life I’d be ever so delightfully happy.
I also quite like custard, n could just drink that for desert to be honest. Quite nice with gluten free apple crumble but honestly, I’m never too keen on apple crumble. I do really love ice cream and I miss the ice cream parlour in Germany. There is one particular one we’d always go to and it was great.

Today, the only way I can distract myself is by youtube videos and anyhting other than dealing with what gives me most anxiety and everything. I’m not enjoying University at the moment and I think the season is affecting me. With the start of University it’s like everything semi stressy is coming together, putting a strain on me and I can’t find a way to detangle myself and deal with it in a healthy way. I just feel like not going to Uni, getting cigarettes and strong alcohol and just getting drunk n smoking.
I remember from last year that I drunk a lot especially over the colder months and I’m scared thats going to repeat itself just worse.

Anyway, I’ll see what next week will bring

Favourite Harry Potter Videos

Just for fun and because I wanna, here are some of my favourite Harry Potter themed YouTube videos

Tessa Nettling is a must, naturally.

Honestly, this channel is a gift of the heavens and I love it so much it hurts. I love them so much, I added four videos to the list, but honestly. All the videos are amazing.


The two Harry Potter Parodies by The Hillywood show. I couldn’t decide which ones I liked most, so I added the two of them. I always quite like the dancing in their parodies so.


I can’t ever stop watching this one. Honestly, its pure gold.


I am struggling so much with the things going on in my life currently, it is truly amazing how I am still functioning somewhat. Hence, why I am wallowing in Harry Potter videos n stuff, just because it makes me happy.

I also stood outside for five minutes just now and listened to some owls hooting at each other which in itself was an amazing feeling and I haven’t smiled like that in a very long time. It was nice. I love owls.

~ Ciarán ~

Sturdy Saturday

Photo of the day:

Autumn Leaves

Word of the day: Stalwart

It’s a Middle English word, and, according to this online dictionary, it has various meanings, including brave and strong. It reminded me of the german word for stahl, which is steel. But Stalwart in german roughly translates to “stramm”, which in fact translates back to “tautly” or “sturdy”

Quote of the day:

I think there’s some connection between absolute discipline and absolute freedom.
-Alan Rickman

Video of the day:

Question of the day: What would you do if you could travel into the past?

I think I would try and focus on some personal stuff. I would travel back in time to tell my past self to get their act together. Or I would go even further back, to tell my grandmother how much I loved her, or travel back even further to get a glimpse of more of my family, or past lives in general. Ideally, I guess, I would like to constantly try and travel back, just to learn and observe, to try and solve crimes and such like. I’d love to find out what happened to the Princes Edward and Richard in the Tower of London. Purely for educational reasons.

Today has vaguely looked like a nice lovely day. Nice weather, some time with my mum in Brighton, a nice lunch. If it weren’t for certain annoying people we live with, today could’ve been quite nice, but alas. There are annoying people around.
Being able to take a step away from Uni without feeling semi guilty from having missed lectures, I feel like my strength bars in dealing with life are being recharged. At the same time, because of school kids having a week off next week, I dread leaving the house for various reasons and it is eating me up already. I know I can’t really take any more time off, especially because of a presentation I have to do on friday. It’s stressing me out more than it should and I hate it.

Trying to distract me, as this isn’t something I can solve, I might watch my favourite movie and eat some chocolate.

~ Ciarán ~

“Fix me” Friday

Photo of the day:

Pink | Autumn Colors

Word of the day: Dumpfbacke

This word means something along the lines of “dimwit” and I love saying it. It amuses me more than it should be.

Ihr seit solche Dumpfbacken!
You’re all such dimwits!

Quote of the day:

“I’m not clumsy, I’m accident-prone!”
– Daniel Radcliffe

Video of the day:

Question of the day: What are your secret survival strategies?

To be honest, I don’t have “survival”strategies. I tend to disassociate and really do not cope very well with a lot of things at the moment. I’m reading through self-care practices just to mentally take care of myself, because my mental health is struggling so much right now. Today, I went for a little bit of shopping, and went to see the Jack Reacher movie. I’m sure I can get through the next few days without crying too much!

Mindfulness is something I often fall back onto. It’s not a secret survival strategies, but holy cow, it really helps. Uncluttering a small area, and unplugging for a bit really helps. Just the usual, really. A nice hot bath or shower, a walk, sitting somewhere quiet and focusing on the world around you, cloud-watching. I live semi close to the sea (not as close as before, sadly), but listening to the waves is relaxing, too.

Idk, man. Just take care of yourself and do what is best for you. & sometimes you just gotta be a bit selfish. Life is a kuddelmuddel, and sometimes, the best way to deal with a mess and a bit of chaos, is to sit back and relax a little.

~ Ciarán ~


Hooray, It’s Thursday

Quote of the Day: 

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
– Buddha

Photo of the Day:

Foggy traffic lights

Word of the Day:

Die Seele – the Soul.

Kümmere dich um deine Seele – take care of your soul.
It’s another noun, and I like the look of it. For some reason, the german spelling reminds me a bit of fairies, or elves.

Question of the Day: Am I worthless?

This is pretty much how I feel all the time. I don’t feel like I have friends. The friends I think I have I feel like I’m not the same to them as they are to me and I’m bitterly salty about that and the fact that I’m feeling so bitter and salty about it. This morning, I had a really low moment, but I think I recovered.

Video of the Day:


I’m proud I have managed the week so far as best I could with what is going on at home and at Uni. I’m so glad it’s finally thursday again, and I don’t have to worry about stupid, non-existent trains to Uni (because they’re on strike. Again. And all the trains from my nearest train station to my Uni campus have been replaced with Buses) and I can hopefully focus on some reading, catching up and taking care of myself, despite some shit going down because of one particular idiot in the house.

Let’s see what tomorrow brings.


Mid week crisis

Question of the day: Oh, so you’re german?

Well, theoretically, yes. Born and raised there. But I have a british mother, and a british granddad. My Granny is German. It’s a weird story. I don’t know a lot of the british side of my family, and the only person I know from the german side, who is still alive, is my great auntie and her husband. They’re lovely people and I miss them dearly.
In Germany, I always felt British, even though I couldn’t remember ever visiting Britain. Now, living in Britain, with a british passport, I don’t feel German. But I also do not feel british at all. I used to hate my slight accent and the way I pronounce certain words. It would upset me, that I didn’t have a country to call home. Now, after three years of Uni and a lot of character development, I realise that the world is my home. I feel content with that fact, not being tied to a particular place. It is feeding my interest to travel and to explore. The way I talk has been described as “cute”, so I’ll just go with that. I’ll make it part of who I am.
Studying English language and linguistics has just proven to me how ridiculous it actually is to dream to “sound” english, when there is no one way to sound that way. Sounding like the Queen is not what the English language is about.
And the question of “Who am I?”, which was the question I was going to originally ask, is way to broad, way to complex, and way too deep. To be honest, the answer to that question is still a work in progress anyway.

Photo of the day:


Quote of the day:
I think sometimes when you begin to examine things – like yourself – suddenly you can just freak out and not want to go any further (x)
– Bonnie Wright

Video of the day:

Word of the day: der Spiegel
I don’t know why, but nouns are the easiest thing for me to think of at the moment. This noun translates to “the mirror”. An example sentence: “Der Spiegel haengt dort an der Wand.” -“The mirror is hanging on the wall over there.”

Slight headache. Living-with-Fosterchildren-problems. I admire social workers n all. Not a productive day in a sense of  doing a lot of work, but I cought up with a friend, which was lovely.

Two for Tuesday!

Questions of the day:

  • What is your favourite animal?

I love a lot of animals, but I think I am going to go with seahorses. I also really quite love squirrels.

  • Your favourite meal?

Tortellini in a creamy sauce with slices of ham and peas. Idk why but that is a beautiful dish and one of my favourite meals, right next to some of German soups, and curries.

Photos of the day:

Leaves | Autumn 2016
Ryo Mukae

Words of the day:

  • das Seepferd
    Another noun, meaning The Seahorse. “Das Seepferd ist sehr klein”: “The Seahorse is very small”
  • die Unendlichkeit
    Just another noun, translates to Infinity, making “to infinity and beyond” translate to “bis zur unendlichkeit und noch viel weiter”.

Videos of the day:

Quotes of the day: 
We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already. We have the power to imagine better.
– J.K. Rowling

Poetry is the one place where people can speak their original human mind. It is the outlet for people to say in public what is known in private.
Alan Ginsberg

I didn’t go to my lecture today, I’m still not feeling awfully well. I also forgot to post yesterday, after carefully planning ahead… Never mind.