Wrap Up!

I had high hopes of reading books in April, but alas, I have not finished one.

Not a wrap up, but I enjoy his videos. They’re so energetic.

The first wrap up that popped up from people I’m subscribed to.

Some hauls I enjoyed watching

Now, to my books!

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I keep jumping from book to book to book without finishing any one of them.

I read the books by Justin Somper when I was around 14 and I read them in German. I remember absolutely loving them. I loved the German cover, the story, the characters and the fast pace of the story, I’m not too sure about this cover though.
Its easy to follow, but also kept me really hooked. I still love the story, but I really do not like the cover. The cover of the Narnia collections is my favourite out of the four, even though I love the blue of the Companion book.

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I found this book on the way home. It would be the book I’d be reading right now, if I wouldn’t have to focus on essays…

This weekend is a long weekend, with Monday being a bank holiday in the UK. Monday also so happens to be my birthday. So yay.

~ Ciaran ~

Feeding an Interest: Spring in Japan

The weather is getting warmer, there’s more sun around. Its feeling a lot like spring. I really want to travel to Japan, and learn Japanese, and I’ve recently been watching a lot of videos on spring in Japan. I was kinda inspired by, surprise surprise, Sharla.

I really want to visit Japan around spring time.

Sitting outside in a park, eating food is great, especially after a cold winter is awesome. I also watched the vlogs of her friends she’s with! They’re pretty good, too.

Another video of Spring in Japan, which I really, really enjoyed. It’s about half an hour though, but its worth it! (Side Note: I usually have huge problems focusing on anything longer than 5 minutes long). Ahh, this video is so good tho.

I also found this video of spring in Germany (Don’t worry, he’s speaking English)

I can’t remember anything specific about things I did in Germany, apart from Easter, getting hyped for my birthday and just generally looking forward to warmer weather, green grass, not having to wear winter clothing and just having more pleasant bike rides. I loved going swimming outside again, and eating ice cream.

A short little post on spring. I asked a friend what she does in spring, apart from celebrate her birthday, and every spring she gets together with all her cousins for a cousin-day-out.

Being Transgender

I don’t know if I am going to post this, but I’m still going to write this out.

Saline’s video has made me feel better about myself just by her being herself in a recent video of hers

I also adore her blog and generally everything about her.

This isn’t me coming out to anybody. I justwant to tell a story.

When I was younger, I grew up with my mum’s best friends two boys R and C. In my little head, they were family. They were my brothers and I was their brother. I was just… a special brother. Just… a little different to them. Just like my hair was different to theirs, I had to pee sitting down.

They moved away some time, but I still considered them family. They were my brothers, I was their brother. However, I started my period, and I realised I had a problem. Looking back, I kinda knew, they weren’t going to start their period. That this all had something to do with me having to sit down to pee. I was more different to them on the outside than I had expected. I didn’t like that. In my head, I was their brother. Not their sister. In my mind, I was like them. A boy. But my body disagreed.

The day I started my period was the day I realised something was “wrong” with me. What ever was happening to me, I didn’t want to happen. Growing up, I never felt myself. I always felt distant to the person I saw in the mirror, to the person other people saw. It felt like playing a game I didn’t want to play.

It wasn’t until I moved to England and started my University course a few years later that I started to gather up the pieces I had buried over the years. It wasn’t until then that I found the words to describe who I am and to know that I can be more than the mind of the reflection I see in the mirror who isn’t actually me.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense to anybody out there but I felt like I had to write it down. My mind palace, a concept I’ve kind of adapted from Sherlock, is pretty dark and dull, so I make a huge effort to surround myself with colours (especially my favourite colour: Blue) and things I love, including areas I love, which is quite foresty. People who are accepting always help, too. I consider myself incredibly lucky to still have all my friends and family around me.

When people ask me, when I realised I was transgender, I tell them I was 9. It’s the age I realised I was not a boy in dresses, but a girl.

Luxeria posted a video of hers around this time last year.

Two other people have helped me a ton in the past two years. Lorcan I know personally, Alex and Jake I do not. Lorcan is actually in one of Jake’s videos.

Another interesting video I stumbled across, was Milo’s Queer Platonic Relationship Tag.

I watched quite a few videos of people doing the QPR Tag.

I’m thinking of telling another story, and submitting it to Chase’s project. I have yet to do it. I hope I don’t chicken out.

~ Ciaran ~


Finally I have visited an IKEA in England. We went to the IKEA in Croydon, near London. We always wanted to go and see how it compares to the IKEA we had in Germany.

2016-03-18 15.08As we parked up, my immediate thought was “Oh, it’s so tiny!” It’s maybe half the size of the one I used to go to in Germany.

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At the end I found these for Lorcan.

~ I love the colours and the bedding ~

2016-03-dd152016-03-d152016-03-18x 162016-03-18s 162016-03-18 d152016-03-18 d2016-03-18 adf152016-03-18 15I can’t go to Ikea, and not eat meatballs. So yum!

~ Ciaran ~


Why am I blogging?

Hello, yes, I’m still here. Something different to what I’ve usually got planned on a Thursday.

I’ve missed out on this weeks posts. I go through phases of ups and downs, even concerning what I do with this blog. But I still want to do it. That feeling of wanting to blog about something never quite goes away.

  1. I want to think and write clearer.
  2. I feel like I’d be more able to learn new things
  3. Having a blog might help me get into some kind of routine, or can make my daily routine more exciting.
  4. It’ll let me see mundane things differently, and more creatively, and work on my hobbies and being able to write about them.
  5. It’ll help me to be disciplined, as well.

There’s a lot more ( here for example). But the five at the top are the main reason I want to blog.

The main reason, I have found, is that it is quite fun. I especially like doing tags, even though I’ve only done a few book related tags (here, here and another tag here).

Good bye for now,




Recent Potter hauls

If I could have a perfect Saturday, it would involve going shopping without worrying about money. It would then naturally be followed by spending a whole day at the Harry Potter Studios. Some of the more recent stuff I bought I just have to share with the internet.

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I found these socks, and I love them. I haven’t worn them yet, they seem too precious to be worn.

On my third visit to the Harry Potter studios, I finally bought Remus Lupins’ wand and the Marauders Map. I keep the map in it’s cover and very often carry the wand around with me. According to Pottermore, my wand is Cedar wood with a Unicorn hair core, 10″ and surprisingly swishy flexibility

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The jumper/ sweater, a new t-shirt and the new choker I recently acquired and love so much.

If I feel uncomfortable, unhappy or sad, I wear the t-shirt or the jumper/sweater. I never thought I’d actually feel comfortable wearing a choker, so I’m pleasantly surprised that I am.

After watching a movie at the cinema with my friends in Brighton, we walked past Waterstones and they had a very Harry Potter themed book display in their window which I had to take photos of. And yes, I have pre-ordered the book. I am much excited.

Even though I wanted to buy so much more, this is actually it. For now.

~ Ciaran~