What keeps my boat afloat

To remind myself about what keeps my boat from sinking in my own tears, I’d like to talk about calming activities and stuff. I like to do certain things, eat, smell, see certain things and listen to certain things to stop my anxiety from getting overwhelming. These things go beyond the Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and are purely based on personal experiences.

CBT does help, especially working out fears and anxieties. I have General Anxiety Disorder (GAD), so figuring out what is setting me off can sometimes be difficult. Entangling my thoughts and working on them from what I’ve learnt during CBT in 2014, helps. Admittedly, I’m at a point where I think I might need some more help with it. Asking for help, even if it’s asking a friend to help you work through your thoughts with you or to simply listen, helps me understand my thoughts and just really helps.

What I like to do for a bit of mindfulness is actually listen to people’s voices. Certain people make me feel better by me simply listening to their voices and watching them. I think this is why I like watching YouTube videos so much because I can watch my favourite celebrities and listen to their voices. My favourite accent is the Irish accent and at the moment I love to listen to Aidan Gillen. He makes me swoon a little, and I just really love listening to his voice. Domnhall Gleeson has a similar affect on me. So does David Thewlis, but for other reasons I don’t actually know of.

Unsurprisingly, watching or reading anything Harry Potter will instantaneously make me smile and feel less anxious about things.

Going swimming is the biggest thing that makes me feel better. Often I really do not feel like going to the gym and swim, but as soon as I get into the water, I calm down and I can work through my thoughts better.

Today, I went swimming in the outside pool of the gym I go to and it was pretty awesome.

I also went to my GP to get a referral to a Gender Clinic. I was pretty nervous, still am a little, but its a step in the right direction.

High fives,

Ciarán

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