A Student with Anxiety

So many students are really busy studying now for exams, writing essays and doing assignments, just like me!

I haven’t really had the energy or the time to even look back at the photos I took in Vietnam, but I do really miss the Vietnamese coffee (possibly beyond normal). I still love watching YouTube videos, more than before.

The thing is, I just had to ask for an extension for an assignment whose due date is tonight. Every time I wanted to work on it I would cry and I’d do anything possible to avoid any work -which then lead to me panicking and crying even more. For some reason, my anxiety rocketed when I got this assignment. I do underestimate what I know and what I can do, but the moment I got this assignment I knew I would have to ask for an extension and I was struck with a high level of anxiety.

My anxiety is still high, even though I feel calmer now I do have an extension. As much as I want to look through Vietnam photos and post some stuff on Vietnam and look for other interesting stuff to talk about. But I’m really struggling with stuff at the moment and there seems so much going on in my head, I don’t really know what to write about.

I’m finally feeling more steady about talking to people about being transgender. It is a difficult topic for me to talk about, and all my feelings that I’ve bottled up over the years are beginning to surface. I guess this is contributing to my high anxiety and confused mental state. In a way I am glad, I’m finally thinking about my feelings. During an evening with family friends, I spoke about some of my feelings and it felt really good. Some noticed how well I expressed myself, which really surprised me -especially because they felt the need to tell me.

For now, I feel like I still need to work through some incredibly chewy bits of life. I hope at the end of this particular path I can write more as a stronger person and focus more on some other things.

Hugs, and good luck for anything and everything ya’ll doing right now.

Ciarán

 

 

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